While browsing through a craft mall about 10 years ago, I happened upon a plaque that read, "Martha Stewart Doesn't Live Here."

The witty saying was my first exposure to Martha, whom my mom explained was an expert on household tasks.

Since then, as I have learned more about Martha, and more about my own homemaking abilities, I have begun to think that I need a similar wall hanging. Mine, however, would read, "Martha Stewart Doesn't Live Here, But Ruth, Her Antithesis, Does." 

Maybe the universe needed a way to balance itself. Maybe the universe thought, "If Martha's going to go around showing everyone how to caramelize fennel, someone must come along who will consistently burn and drop things." I, apparently, am the chosen one.

Its not that I don't try. I set out to accomplish dozens of household tasks, following instructions from Martha and other wise women like my mom and Betty Crocker. But somehow my bread won't rise, my homemade clothes come out lopsided and my microwave popcorn catches on fire.

Martha would not approve.

And though he tries to overlook my blunderings, my darling new husband, Matthew, cannot go on eating burnt fast food. (Yes, I really did burn fast food.)

Martha would laugh uproariously.

So this, my friends and neighbors, is my plea for help: Are you an expert at a homemaking skill? Can you manage a household, plant a successful garden or bake pastries? If so, I want to learn from you and then I want to share what I learn, with my new video series The Helpless Housewife.

The premise is simple: Members of the community share their practical homemaking skills with me, the Helpless Housewife, in a short video segment. You can learn along with me by watching the video, The Helpless Housewife Goes to Lewisville, here.

And, if you would like to be a guest instructor on the series, and I hope you will, you can send me a note through my profile or e-mail me at rhaesemeyer@neighborsgo.com. It's a great opportunity to share valuable skills, not only with a domestically challenged housewife, but also with your neighbors.

Martha would be proud.

Ruth Haesemeyer is an assistant editor for the West Zone of neighborsgo, which includes the Irving, Coppell, Carrollton/Farmers Branch/Addison and Southern Denton County communities.