My home has been on a sleep preservation quest since day one.

I am a big fan of sleep.  Sleep is good.  I am good when I sleep.  It was actually one of those things I worried about BEFORE becoming a mother…

when would I sleep?

Because I read approximately 432 parenting books while pregnant (amidst the 983 pregnancy books), I had that answer when the BABY arrived.

You sleep when the baby sleeps!

This seemed to be the ONLY statement that all 1,415 books agreed on - go ahead and check my math.

Every guru, doctor,  or nanny who has ever written a pregnancy or parenting book promotes the catchy sleep while the baby sleeps slogan.

Made sense to me.

Made sense to me PRIOR to childbirth.

Made sense to me AFTER childbirth except for the small detail that my firstborn appeared to prefer SCREAMING to SLEEPING.

You sleep when the baby screams! Is less catchy, hard to do without earplugs and not in the books.

Obviously I needed another BOOK or another baby…

That is when I found the Sleep Bible aka Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth, MD.  Dr. Weissbluth has fancy graphs and schedules to tell you EXACTLY when to lay your child down for a nap, when to wake or not wake him and then when to put the child to bed – for every stage, age and temperament.

Hallelujah!

I followed the book EXACTLY.

My baby actually did what the book said!*

*I should mention that I now call my oldest my textbook baby because he was a baby by the book.  He responded the way books suggested.  He hit milestones ON TARGET to perfection.  He even started walking on his first birthday – just like the book predicted.  In a cosmic let’s-all-watch-and-laugh-at-Holly-as-she-tries-to-figure-it-out my subsequent children did not respond in any book-related manner.

The good news was I got some sleep as Dr. Weissbluth’s pie graph suggested.

One of the things mentioned in the Bible of child sleep is that in some cases children will awaken at the same time in the morning no matter what time you put them to bed.

I have found that I parent three such cases.

If I put them to bed at 6 pm, they awake at 6:12 am.

If I put them to bed at 8 pm, they awake at 6:12 am.

If I put them to bed at 11 pm, they awake at 6:12 am.

It is a freaky phenomenon and so I try to error on the early side…really, is 4 pm too early?

I do try to get them in bed by 8 so that they get their sleep and I get some quiet time.

*angel choir softly singing in the background*

All summer I have gotten the boys to bed at a regular time so the theory went untested.

And then there was the fourth of July and last Saturday night.  Both nights had boy’s bedtimes exceeding the 11 pm hour.

Both nights had the following morning waking time at…6:12 am.

Both following days contained fireworks of tantrums, whining, fighting and general discontent…

and I am talking about MY behavior.

Because while the boys can pop out of bed at 6:12 am with vigor for the day, I cannot.

Which brings me back full circle to the parenting dilemma – when do I sleep?

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Reid has an unusual talent.

He has a unique ability to get whatever he is eating stuck in his hair.

The weird thing is that he is not a messy eater.  In fact, he is quite a clean eater and when he is done he looks perfectly tidy until you try to comb his hair.

Ouch.

Ouch because what is usually in his hair is not easily removed…especially with a comb.

Syrup from pancakes, syrup from waffles, jelly from toast, chocolate sauce from ice cream and honey from thin air all seem to find their way to the top of Reid’s mop.

Ouch.

I took the boys for a haircut yesterday.  Before I went I combed through their hair so they would look presentable.  While working on Reid’s hair I noticed several patches of post-breakfast stickiness.  I rinsed his head with water before combing through it on our way out the door.  I thought I had gotten it all.

After Reid’s haircut I joked, “Did you cut all the syrup off?”

To which the lady who did the cut looked at me weirdly and replied, “Oh! I was wondering what that was.”

Ouch.

Since the boys take a bath every evening before bed, I usually try to have Reid wash his hair nightly.  After a good shampoo it seems to be easier to get a comb through his wet hair before bed.  I figure it gives his hair about 10 hours of cleanliness a day which isn’t bad.

The other night I was tucking him in and noticed something hanging from his hair.

What?

He has NOT eaten since his bath.

What could possibly be in the hair that I assisted in washing mere moments before?

Toothpaste.

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Once upon a time there were three backpacks.

A brand new yellow one.

A brand new green one.

A hand-me-down orange one.

The brand new yellow backpack was packed with enthusiasm and was to accompany a first grader to his first day of school.  This backpack was carefully chosen by the first grader for it’s bright and sunny color.

The brand new green backpack was packed in tolerance and was to accompany a third grader to his first day of school.  This backpack was chosen by the third grader because his best friend had the same one.

The hand-me-down orange backpack was stuffed in frustration because it’s 3 year old recipient was too little to go to school.  This backpack was handed-down because the 3 year old was upset and a bit tantrum-ish he couldn’t choose a new one.

The first day of school arrived and the boys’ mother pulled out the camera to take pictures of the event.  The first and third grader posed with the brand new yellow and green backpacks as successfully as a first and third grader can pose on the first day of school.

The first day of school arrived and the 3 year old pulled out HIS hand-me-down orange backpack.  He demanded to be included in the pictures.

The brand new yellow and green backpacks and the hand-me-down orange backpack were all placed in the back of the minivan and hauled off to the first day of school.

The boys’ mother again coerced photography on the group at the school’s entrance.

The brand new yellow, the brand new green and the hand-me-down orange backpacks were all pulled into the school.

The brand new yellow backpack went to first grade.

The brand new green backpack went to third grade.

The hand-me-down orange backpack went back home.

Back at home the 3 year old required a bit of extra hugging - backpack and all.

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Over the summer I had the boys all do about 45 minutes of “schoolwork” prior to any DS, TV or Wii.

It was cruel and unusual around here.

I thought of it as my own Mommy Bootcamp.

Ryan(8) was working on reading.  Reid(6) had to catch up on Kindergarten.  Rhett(3)…well, Rhett just needed to be busy so he didn't launch himself off the top of the fridge testing the theories of flight.

Ryan protested and protested and protested and protested.  Have I mentioned his gift of perseverance?

Reid floated through his workbooks copying the illustrations and adding his own.  In his world he isn’t bound to earthly measures of time and space.

Rhett demanded to be treated equally.  Who am I not to comply?

So, when I went to the homeschool store I picked up an early education handwriting book that looked like more fun than work.  He worked through it alongside his brothers.  He called the activities “mazes” and tried to negotiate his pencil through the alphabet by staying between the lines.

It occurred to me this morning that I should mention to him WHAT LETTER HE WAS WRITING so that he could learn the alphabet as well.

I am quick like that.

He was working fervently on the letter “P”.

Making a straight line.

Making a half circle.

Rhett, do you know what letter that is?

No.

It is a “P”.

Oh.

Do you know what sound it makes?

POOP!

I couldn’t have been more proud…

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How many differences can you find between these two pictures?

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This summer taught me a lesson.

It got off to a slow start for me and my three boys.  Those first few weeks after school let out was a bit like Groundhog Day.  I relived the same exasperating scenarios over and over.

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Today I was thinking about MOTHERHOOD and what changed eight years ago when I was awarded the name MOM.  It is hard to put into words, but it feels like one of those Hallmark commercials that have me hunched over and sobbing by the end.  I will honestly say that I never expected that.  I have been a level-headed girl all my life.  More logical than emotional.  More analysist than poet.

And that all changed when HE arrived:

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Our FAMILY's economy is not unlike that of major countries. Those in charge met for a financial summit to determine the outcome of the poorest FAMILY citizens. After much negotiation, it was decided that a welfare system of allowances would be enacted. Reid (5) is now receiving $2/week and Ryan (7) is receiving $3 per week.

The new economic policies have benefited me the most. My recorded message at the store is no longer "no". I just state what items are eligible for FAMILY government reimbursement and what will be the responsibility of its citizens.


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