With college looming like a big black hole of doom, uncertainty and dismay abound. To dispel some of the annoying and dreaded “So, where you going to college?” questions, we’ve made a handy list of answers. Say ‘em loud, say ‘em proud.

1.) I'm going to be in the first graduating class from the University of the International Space Station.

2.) I'm going to major in kinesiology in the circus.

3.) I just got my acceptance letter from the owl- I'm going to Hogwarts!

4.) I've been accepted to Harvard, NorthLake, and Hogwarts. (pause). I was just kidding about NorthLake.

5.) I'm going to the liberal arts program at MIT.

6.) I'm going to study mathematics at Julliard.

7.) I'm going to Austria to study marine biology. No, no, not Australia.

8.) I'm not, I'm going to be a spy for the FBI. But that's classified information.

9.) I'm going to take a year off to do Catholic missionary work in Italy. The Vatican needs me.

10.) AHHHH!!!! MY SPLEEN!!!!