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Elise McVeigh's Life Camp Column
Dear Mrs. McVeigh,I recently was with my tennis group on some public tennis courts. We had 6 ladies show up that day, and we hired 2 instructors that are pre-paid for a semester. We reserved two courts with our city tennis department. When we got there, there was another instructor giving a lesson to a woman. I politely told him we reserved the court, and needed it. He claimed he reserved it. We went back and forth about it, and the woman who was taking the lesson from him said we needed to stop discussing it, because this is her lesson, and I was taking up her time that she is paying her instructor for. I called the city to see if they made a mistake by double booking the court. They said my group had reserved the courts, and the other instructor had not. When I went back to tell the teaching pro what the city said, he said we should compromise, and let him use the court until 9:00, since his client was paying for the lesson. It was 8:35 at the time, and our lesson is from 8:15- 9:30. I told him no, we are all paying for our lesson, and two instructors, so I asked him nicely (but firmly) to give us our court please. Do you think that was the right thing to do? I then thought I should go apologize as they walked off, but my friend said that I should not have to. What do you think?L.N.M. Dear L.N.M.,I agree with what you said and did. I was recently criticizing myself for not being assertive enough in a situation similar to this. Good for you for sticking up for yourself, and for your group. It does not matter whether this other instructor was lying to you, or made a mistake and forgot to book the court, he is wrong, and you are right. It sounds like your city has rules and a process in place for a good reason. It is to resolve conflicts such as this one. I do not think that you needed to apologize after the whole episode was over. I think they should have apologized to you, since they were wrong, and wasted your time, since you were the one who had to call the city, and had to speak to them about it at least two times. Dear Mrs. McVeigh,I recently received an Evite invitation. I am unsure if it is just for my child, or my whole family. Is it okay to ask the host?C.T. Dear C.T.,Yes, feel free to ask the host. Evites are tricky because if you have a young child, the parent is obviously not aware if your child has an email account. Even if your young child does have his own email, an adult probably would not send an invitation to a young child’s email, but to the parent’s email. Since the Evite is coming to you, I can understand why you are unsure who the invitation is addressed to, especially if it is a class party, and you really do not know the family. When you receive an invitation in the mail, always check who it is addressed to. If it is for your whole family, it will say “The Smith Family.” If it is just your child, it will say, “Miss. Sandra Smith.” If siblings are invited, hopefully the host states that on the invitation. Feel free in any situation to clarify who is invited, and who is not from your family. The host should appreciate that you are trying to do the right thing.
Date Posted: Nov 6, 2009 at 11:46 AM
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